by
Christine Bruun
Fear stands in the way of most of our successes. Unfortunately it is left over from the caveman era and only serves as a stumbling block. Fear served its purpose back then. We've all heard of the "flight or fight" syndrome. It has been genetically engineered into all humans to maximize survival at a time when life was very fragile. You either lived or died, so fear served as a gauge by which cavemen chose their daily paths.
Today, however, our very lives seldom hinge on this genetically engineered response. It is baggage left over from a time when it was needed and now, only causes us unnecessary emotional pain. It is wasted emotion that robs us of the joy of creativity and of reaching our goals.
What does courage have to do with this? It takes courage to ignore the fear as we continue a path that leads to our joy. It takes courage to recognize that the fear is blocking our creativity, or blocking our path to a desired goal. It takes great courage to acknowledge the fear, put it in perspective, then banish it to its proper place in our lives. It takes courage to act in spite of the fear. When we find out we have made a mistake, it takes courage to accept responsibility for that error, learn from it, put it behind, then go on as best we can.
There are people who are so intimidated by life in general that they find it impossible to share in the joys and successes of those around them. They give up their dreams of being a doctor, a lawyer, a business tycoon, an artist, or a writer. They do what the world expects of them. This fear of standing up for themselves, of rocking the boat, going against the current, of seeming selfish, of being perceived as odd or different, or of being criticized, so takes over their lives that they become fearful of everything.
A friend related the story of an older woman in her seventies. She had called her to share the excitement of the purchase of some property on a lake where they were having a house built. It was in the country away from the hustle and bustle of the city. She had shared her joy at having crossed paths with a deer and a wild turkey while hiking through the woods behind their home site.
The woman's response was fear and warning. Don't feed the deer or make pets out of them because people get attacked and killed by deer every year. The barrage of negative warnings seemed endless. By the end of the call she had gone from excited and joyous at her life to depressed and empty.
Fear robs us of our joy. It takes a courageous person to put it in its place and go on ".... though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death I shall fear no evil..."
Obviously, fear is here to stay. It is part of us. It takes great courage to accept that part of us as normal. It takes courage to learn to be kind to ourselves and others who are thwarted by it. And it takes even more courage not to let our own fears spill over into other people's lives.
We might think we are helping them by showing them all the possible pitfalls, but what we are doing is sucking the joy from their lives in order to feed our own fears. Instead of trusting that they are capable of taking care of their own lives, we feel the need to rescue them from all the possible bad things of the world. We validate our own fear while we block their joy, their dreams, their possibilities. We place doubt in their minds where once they felt invincible. We become the instrument of fear.
It takes great courage not to be that instrument, but become a support and a foot up for those people who need encouragement. I challenge each and every one of us to become a foot hold for those who need our support. I challenge each and every one of us to act even in the face of fear. I made a commitment to myself a long time ago. I vowed never to let fear stop me from reaching my dreams. It has been difficult at times, to fight my demons and face my fears head on. But the rewards have taught me to put my fears behind and go forward toward the life I love. It is worth it!
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