IMPORTANT NEEDS
By Christine Bruun
Copyright 1996
One of the most important human needs is the need to be touched. Babies and children, deprived of human touch, often die. It is called, "Failure to thrive".
Adults are no different. We all need to be hugged, held, and stroked. As a single, this poses a problem. It is no wonder many people, trying to fill this need turn to promiscuity, mistaking this basic human need for love.
It is a critical problem for the elderly, recently widowed, newly divorced, and long-time singles alike. Isolation keeps us from being able to meet these needs in healthy ways.
One obvious way to combat this problem is to stay as active as possible and to build a support system of friends and family. Staying in contact with friends and family and remaining as active as possible is a crucial necessity to a healthy, active lifestyle.
If you bowl, join a league. If you do crafts, enroll in classes. If you are a member of a health club, get off that couch and go work out. Exercise Is great for healthy bodies and minds. Basically, "just do it!"
Building a new support network can be intimidating. Friends tend to choose sides in a divorce. After a death family and friends, not knowing what to say or how to deal with the obvious grief of the person left behind, tend to avoid them. This is a time when support is essential and isolation intensifies and lengthens the grief process.
Joint married friends drift away because the glue that created commonality and connection disintegrates between them and the single person as lifestyles change and take off in different directions. This change process leaves many singles with major holes in their lives which must be filled in some other way. Many singles become overwhelmed with this process, not knowing even where to start.
The following is but a small list of solutions to this issue:
1. Attend your favorite church or local support group where you can be nurtured. Besides providing unconditional acceptance, they can become a welcome outlet for feelings, both positive and negative and can help in the grief process by providing a perspective which is not so self-involved.
2. Volunteer - give of yourself to those in need. Not only are there people in most communities that can use your talents and understanding, but volunteer work provides a feeling of being needed and an opportunity for positive strokes and a building of self-worth . It helps to focus your attentions on others instead of upon yourself. It provides a healthier, more positive perspective on recent events.
3. Hobbies are crucial during this time. Whether your interests lie in learning the Boot Scoot Boogie, railroad modeling, crafts, or learning to fly, a hobby can provide hours of fun and relaxation with people of like interests and goals. Clubs and organizations provide a social outlet that is not only fun, but healing. This solution also protects against isolation and helps the single to get back into the community and toward building their new life.
4. Pets are excellent for meeting the need for touch. Just having pets in the home provides many comforts and benefits from companionship to the lowering of blood pressure. So whether your preference is dogs, cats, birds, or fish, most benefit from having a pet around.
5. Massage therapy, by a licensed massage therapist, is a valuable tool for meeting and solving the basic human need for touch. It is not only physically healthy,( enhancing blood flow and relaxing muscles), but it is emotionally beneficial as well. It is a marvelous way to pamper and indulge oneself.
It is a well known correlation that when people are having problems in their lives, hairdressers, manicurists, pedicurists, and massage therapists benefit by increased usage by their clients. And, as it is easy to see, these services all involve human touch and the opportunity for verbal communication as a basic commonality.
Obviously, isolation and loneliness are major issues for the single community and effect the quality of life in many ways. Besides the very personal and emotionally devastating consequences there is the hidden , and often ignored health concerns which can present themselves in all sorts of psychosomatic illnesses such as depression, stress related diseases, and various minor health related issues which effects the single community in many ways.I have just received information, however, that at least one physician in Idaho Falls, Idaho has addressed this need and is now providing an old, but welcome remedy , "House Calls". It is a wonderful start but a long way from a long term solution for all the ills that this issue addresses.
You MUST read the following article! What you need to know about Aspartame, (nutra-sweet), It is a matter of life and death!
(Home)
Click on any of the buttons below to visit our friends
[Angels]
©Cactus Ventures 1999/2001
