Sports Network Sighting?

by Christine Bruun

I have just received a curious report on a possible "Yeti" sighting in Toronto Canada.  The witness  suggested that a certain employee of a Canadian TV Sports  Network may very well be genetically connected to the elusive creature.  He suggested a DNA test to settle the question and suggested that the reason yeti sightings have become rare in recent years is that they have assimilated themselves into modern society.  

First, Let me correct the witness's assumption that this was a "Yeti" Sighting.  While Canada has, over the years, been the location of many sightings of the creature known as "Bigfoot", (whose primary habitat encompasses the North American Continent), the "Yeti" is a name used primarily for the Himalayan cousin of Bigfoot.  So, for clarity and to prevent confusion, we will use the term, Bigfoot.

After researching the witness's report, I have come to, what I feel, is an accurate theory. 

  It may well be that this particular Toronto witness has been watching too much CTV. Between the "Best of Jordan Marathon", (which started being broadcast on October 29th, just before Halloween),  the Sci/fi Channel, and Animal Planet,  this witness has overdosed on TV watching.  His mind, in an attempt to assimilate all the information he has been watching, has been short circuited, thus merging visual stimulus into a hallucinatory sighting.   

There is no reliable evidence that Bigfoot would be working for a Sports Network, nor would he be assuming the disguise of a mild mannered TV Executive during the day, while running wild through the Canadian woods at night.  

My suggestion would be to turn off the TV.  A round of golf or perhaps a game of racket ball at  your local gym or spa should clear the mind. 

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