Fear = No Creativity= Low Self Esteem

I was watching my favorite TV program on HGTV, "Interior Motives" with Christopher Lowell. The program was about creativity. His words echoed across the room at me. "Where there is fear, there is no creativity. " He went on to explain that when we are unable to be creative, our self esteem suffers. Basically, we humans need a place, a space where we can create.

When men are asked if they have developed space where they can be creative, the answer is usually, "Yes!" This seems second nature to them. However, women seldom demand, let alone develop spaces for themselves in which to be creative.

We're not talking about the kitchen here, (unless your creative fire is in the culinary arts). First of all, the kitchen means work for most women. It is a hub of activity, demands and interruptions. I know, it is difficult to find a space all our own. The Late Erma Bombeck, in her renown book, "The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank", certainly created a vivid picture of just such a struggle. If you haven't read that book, I recommend it.

When the kids were growing up we had little room to spare. However, if you look around your home you are bound to find a small corner or a little used spare room, or even a large closet that you can confiscate and claim as "your space". I remember that I came home one day to find my desk and typewriter sitting in a small closet off the kitchen where there was a trap door in the floor that led to the crawl space along with the water heater. I had left my papers on the kitchen table and my husband had decided I was in the way.

Well, after the anger came the notion that it had been a blessing since no one would be moving anything or bothering me or my things. Wrong! The next thing I came home to was my things out in garage. He had to go into the crawl space for something and I was in the way again. In moving my things a manuscript I had been working on had disappeared. At that point I just knew that Erma had stashed a camera in my house and was taping all this. How had she written a story that was so much like mine, right down to the girl scout cookies in the garage? Let me just say that I did have a low self esteem during that marriage and the muse did not bless me with inspiration or creativity.

Erma's story ended happily. She finally got that personal space she had fought so hard for. Mine ended in divorce. Needless to say, I am writing this article in "MY" office. My space was one of the first things I demanded when we purchased this home. I had to have my own office space. It has been the one thing that has helped to inspire me.

One of the first creative projects I have begun since moving into this home is an under sea mural in my bathroom around my tub. The first thing I did was paint the all-white wall a deep Midnight Blue. I used exterior paint because it is resistant to moisture and heat. The dark blue wall sat there for months before I actually started painting on it. I have learned that I create when I feel creative. If not, nothing in this world will get me in there to paint. So, I only paint when I feel like it--no pressure, no fuss, not stress.

I had just put some coral across the bottom and had added three sea weed to the painting when my son came in. I told him to go look at my wall. When he came out he had this puzzled smile on his face. "I didn't know you could paint!" he said incredulously. I just smiled. It was true. He had never really gotten to know the real me.

There are many reasons why we don't become creative. Besides having no creative space, Fear is a big one. We are afraid of what others might say. We are afraid of making a mistake and being ridiculed. We are afraid our attempts will be rejected. There are many fears that get in the way of being creative. Christopher Lowell explained that if we are afraid, make our mistakes in private, behind closed doors, away from the ridicule of spouses who are not supportive or friends who might laugh. Then, when we have become good at what we love to do, after practicing, then we can bring our projects out into the light of day and share them with others. That way we are safe to go through all the trials of learning and perfecting our techniques. He also suggested to go slowly and not take on too much at one time. Three failures in a row can douse the creative fire and make it difficult to get it back.

Do not let guilt lower our self esteems even more--guilt because we haven't taken care of ourselves, guilt because we spend money on our selves, guilt because we have been programmed to feel selfish if we do something for ourselves, guilt because we haven't been assertive and started that project we have been talking about for months or even years. Let go of the past and let today be the beginning of those changes. The past doesn't matter any more. What matters is that today we start meeting our own creative needs--in baby steps if need be, but, just start somewhere, and do it today.

Christy Lee

Live The Life You Love

How To Survive Without A Salary