Mission Statements

updated April 2006

How many of us really know what we want, where we are going, and how we are going to get there? Even less of us know who we really are and what we stand for. Steven Covey urges everyone, in his book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", to create a mission statement. I did this back in the early part of the 90's while going through a divorce. I had picked up his book and it changed my life forever.

While unpacking, the other day, I ran across a copy of the mission statement I had created for myself so very long ago. It was very interesting to read it and read those things that had seemed so important to me at that time. It has been six or seven years since I wrote it. A lot about me has changed, a few things haven't. What that says to me is that I was beginning to get in touch with myself in ways that I had not recognized, and I was beginning to understood many things about myself...even back then. However, I was still not in touch with who I really was. I had an idea, but I still had a ways to grow first.

What is a mission statement? Webster's New World Dictionary, Third college Edition, states that it is, " To be sent out with authority to perform a special service". It also says that a mission is "a special task or purpose for which a person is apparently destined in life; a calling". The dictionary states that a statement is: "a declaration". The dictionary also explains the word "calling" as: " ones occupation, profession, or trade". A second definition says, " an inner urging toward some profession or activity". So, a mission statement is a declaration of the path we choose for our life. It is an acknowledgement of our talents and our goals and our gifts, and what we choose to do with them. It is a diagram of what we want our life to be, the direction we want to go in our life, and how we plan on getting there. It is also a declaration of who we are. "This is who I am, take me or leave me."

For many this simple act of creating a mission statement is a frightening task. It means we can no longer hide our real selves behind our crutches. Basically, a mission statement is putting our money where our mouths are. However, it is the most crucial step towards success and true happiness. It is the first step in the journey to living the life we really love--living an authentic life.

Family, back then, was a major focal point. I was smarting from all the pain and anger still active during the divorce process. I was still in the middle of the divorce so there was a lot of issues swirling around to color my thoughts and feelings. My family was in chaos because of the divorce. It is likely that there wasn't much vision beyond that. There are 19 statements in this first Mission Statement. The first five items contained statements about home and family. The balance of the statements were directed at me and about me. I was trying to decide who I was and what I wanted.-- what made me happy.

The statement about not compromising my honesty jumped from the pages. I have always believed honesty must be a priority in life. I have lived too many of my years in relationships of one kind or another where honesty, on the part of others, was not a priority. That dishonesty has always lead to terrible consequences, which either I or my children had to pay the price for. I had also seen others, in their relationships, reel from the effects of dishonesty, lies, and secrets. That is one part of my mission statement that was not going to change, even with time. Honesty will be written in stone.

There was a statement about seeking divine guidance and living my life in a manner that would merit divine help. When I first wrote that statement I was very sincere and was very comfortable with it. However, after reading it again while time distanced me from the feelings and the issues that were effecting me then, I see a big change in me. My lack of self esteem back then created a lot of doubt about my worthiness in this area. I somehow felt I was not worthy of divine guidance which meant I would have to work even harder to deserve it. I am definitely not the frightened, hurting, people-pleaser I used to be. This statement will be changed to reflect my new self confidence and inner knowledge.

I merit divine guidance simply because I am alive.

It is a birthright which requires no action except the action of asking. I have grown in leaps and bounds in this area of my life and now have a personal relationship with my Higher Power, which is a great comfort to me. It is like having a close friend walking beside me every moment. So, I will include in my new mission statement my birthright and continue to seek divine guidance simply because that is who I am.

There was a statement about standing up for those who can't defend themselves. I have always felt a personal responsibility for others. I have always felt the pain of others. I have always felt I had to fix everything or guilt would overwhelm me. (part of earning the points that would make me deserving of divine guidance, no doubt). I have always felt it only right to give back to the world, having been given so much. That will not change. I have to give back in order to continue to receive. My belief is something not unlike the Indians who believe in the give-a-way. Not that I will be parting with personal property alone, but in giving back, I give away a part of me, a part of me that is valuable to me. Perhaps it is only giving away time I could be doing something else. Perhaps it is giving away my emotional safety by risking criticism for what I do and say. Perhaps it is giving to others those things I have learned along the way that may be of help to them. It certainly doesn't have to be the letting go and giving away of personal property to be of value.

People have said to me, "Chris, you have your whole life out there for others to see? Aren't you afraid?" In answer, YES! When ever I write something for my site I risk rejection and criticism. But I am tired of living my life in fear. There have been times in my life when fear controlled my life and kept me from doing and being the person I really was. If my experiences can help just one person to not feel so alone, I have succeeded. So, I will pick my battles more carefully in the future. I will continue to share my life with those who care to read about it. I no longer feel I have to be a Don Quixote, battling windmills. Not every fight can be won. Not every battle needs to be fought by me.  I can't please all the people all the time. I will, however, commit to being the best person I can be and do what ever I feel I can do to give back. And, I will not let fear stop me from doing those things I really want to do.

Being organized and prioritizing have always been my nemeses. They are still something that is illusive to me. I have long since accepted that about myself. After all, I have a Libra Sun with a Gemini Ascendant and they battle each other endlessly for control. Libra always wants to be organized and has good intentions, but the Gemini in me hates drudge. To be honest, it is like having a battle going on inside me all the time... like the Good angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. I think the Gemini ends up winning the battle in the end. And I guess, that is not all bad for it is the Gemini who is the creative part of my personality.

The Libra gets her licks in and wins a few skirmishes, which allows me to reach deadlines and send out mailers and packets, though they may be slow in coming. The Libra is the balance which reigns in the Gemini and allows me to accomplish the things I do accomplish. For this reason I will once again include organizational skills in my mission statement to remind me that I must still work toward being the best person I can be, but I must also accept my limitations and not feel too bad if organizational skills are illusive. The journey is the reward, not the destination.

Maintaining my dignity and self respect no matter what the situation seemed important back then. I am not so sure that today I even need them to be part of my mission statement. They don't seem to be so critical an issue that I need to reinforce them with a mission statement. It was a specific issue encircling what was going on in my life a that time and had nothing to do with my real place in the world. It was a concept, or lack of a concept based on how I perceived myself. Now as an empowered woman, that is no longer an issue worth putting down in a mission statement

The statement about taking care of me still stands and will continue to stand as one of my mission statement priorities. It is easy to forget to take care of me. I have been co-dependent in the past and I must never forget that. The mission statement will remind me of this important commitment to me.

Back then I had to remind myself to have fun. I also needed to remind myself that happiness is a choice. I still forget that. I get wrapped up in the negative sometimes. I think I will make sure that this statement is included in my new mission statement. Fun is so very important and we adults seldom make it a priority in our life. We get too bogged down in the daily ritual of living and forget to breathe.

One of the statements in this early document was about stopping and thinking before acting. I am one of those people who sees that something needs to be done and I do it. I don't think about it, I just do it. Though I can accomplish a lot, I sometimes don't stop to think how my actions affect others. I often leave them standing in the dust when I could be utilizing their help. I tend to be the SUPER everything, pushing others out of the way. Have you heard the saying, "Help or get out of my way"? Well, that works for me. People are either part of the solution or part of the problem. I am a very black and white person.

One other thing that fits this category is that if you tell me something can't be done, (waving a red flag in front of a bull is comparable), It is a challenge that I usually can't ignore. I will go out and do it just to prove you wrong. If Mohammed won't come to the mountain, by darn, I'll find a way to get that mountain to Mohammed. While it is a great opportunity for my creative juices, I can be a real pain in the butt. I have the ability to focus on the problem to the detriment of everyone around me. Yes, I am a great problem solver, but I have to be careful not to alienate others in the process.

While I am baring my soul I must admit that I often put my foot in my mouth, blurting out things without thinking. I know, shame on me. I am working on this. I sometimes get so involved in me I am not considerate of others' time and impose my problems on them. To be honest, this part of me is disturbing because it is not like me at all.... kind of. At least it is not like the old me. I used to be much more aware of others, often putting my problems aside and giving too much of myself. Now, the pendulum has swung to the other extreme, I fear, and I will be glad when it seeks a happy medium. It will take time to learn moderation. I am learning to "allow" others to be who they are. I am learning to not expect of them more than they can do, and not feel angry or resentful about it when they fall short. Expectations will trip me up every time. So, I am afraid this will also be put back into my mission statement for further thought.

There is a statement concerning finances--Money will be my servant, not my master. I have always felt that way and I doubt that will change. One of my goals is to be debt free by my husband's retirement. I'll let you know if we make it.

The last statement in my early Mission Statement is about forgiveness and separating the deed from the person--A hard thing to learn to do. However, I have made great strides in that area. However, I will make sure that I remind myself to forgive. It is important to my happiness.

It will be interesting to see what my new Mission Statement will become. I urge all to create one for themselves, if for no other reason than to be able to look back and see how far you have come to reaching your goals. I truly believe I am here, writing this article because of that mission statement created many years ago. It gave me a path to follow, even if it was not absolutely accurate. It was at least an honest attempt at acceptance and getting to know who I really am.

Thanks for letting me share this with you!

Chris